.:.The Power of Human Potential.:.

4 months ago...

2008-09-24T23:35:00.002+08:00

It has been 4 months since I updated my blog...no reason, simply too lazy to update :)

A lot of things happened during the past 4 months...unfortunately, I can't recall all hehe

1 major change which took place was on my job designation. I was recently appointed as the Centre Manager (Internal) for BBE Gen-Y Youth Hub. It's definitely a huge responsibility..but the funny thing is, when I was informed about it, I'm more concerned over how my other colleagues may feel.

There are only 4 of us who run the daily operation of the Centre. Besides me, another female colleague has been there since last year, compared to me who only started early this year. A male colleague is a veteran in social service, while the other is a NUS graduate in Social Work.

But alhamdulillah, they've been giving me their full support and I really hope the team can work well together. For the benefit of the youths. Banyak benda nak tighten up at the Centre and it's a very challenging task. I hope the passion and love that we feel for the youths will keep us going strong.

Eid is coming. This year it's gonna be extra special as it'll be first time celebrating it with my fiance :) Can't wait to go visiting with our respective families. This year it's silver/black for us...a colour he's been wanting both of us to wear as a couple.. :p

Wedding preparation is on it's way. My worry: money. hehe. Banyak belanja beb! We are trying to save here and there (finally realize that we need to forego the idea of renting an RX8 as our wedding car! haha). Might as well splurge the money on our honeymoon instead haha.

But seriously, we have to plan the budget thoroughly to avoid future headache. Wedding package, reception, invitation cards, berkat, cameraman, videoman, stuntman..(hehe!) ni semua pakai duit. Belum masuk hantaran, kendarat, kompang, deejay...kalau takde $15k jgn haraplah nak kawen. ;)

I do envy lavish weddings and tempted to have one. I often have to stop myself and fikirkan keperluan and kemampuan. Yeah, I know it's once in a lifetime event.... *sigh*

However, my greatest hope is for the marriage to last. Nothing beats that.

~to cross the line might be the way across~

Trip to Pengasih

2008-05-26T00:28:00.002+08:00

Went to PENGASIH for a training on 19th May - 22nd May (again!) but this time around, the Gen-Y Youths tagged along ;)

PENGASIH is located in KL and it is an organization which was set up to run programmes to help ex-drug addicts holistically, as it targets 4 key areas with regards to personal development: intellectual, behavioural, emotional and spiritual.

The organization was formed in 1992 and since then it has treated a number of addicts using the Therapeutic Community (TC) approach in a residential setting called RUMAH PENGASIH. This approach firmly believes that group can foster growth and holds strongly to the principle of 'man helping man to help himself'. Very deep, indeed.

RUMAH PENGASIH was fully run by ex-drug addicts; from the security personnel up to its President. It was very inspirational to see how these people manage to overcome their addiction and tuned over a new leaf. Change was easier said than done. I remembered one of the staff in RUMAH PENGASIH, who was affectionally known as Jack the Ripper (hehe!), shared that "Drug Addicts are not BAD people wanting to be GOOD people; but SICK people wanting to be CURED" and that recovery from drug addiction may take a lifetime. Only when you are dead, can you finally declare yourself as 'clean and sober'.

Being in RUMAH PENGASIH for 4days was certainly an eye-opener. The residents were of different age group, the youngest being 15 and the oldest being 60 years old. But TC preaches respect and equality; therefore the age differences was not much of a problem. Most of the residents were there voluntarily or sent by their family members to receive treatment and rehabilitation.

The treatment may seem almost regimental at first. The residents have to go through repeated daily rituals and were ranked in hierarchical order. It's meant to instill discipline and sense of responsibility, which they are very much lack in during their addiction days.

Great emphasis was also given to being honest and aware of the surroundings. For example, in one of the daily rituals called Morning Meeting, residents are encouraged to report on things that were left unattended; even the littlest things like cigarette butts and rubber bands. Whoever left it lying around are required to be honest and admit his fault. The person who reported will then face the 'culprit' and gives feedback on his careless attitude.

Non-addicts may find this very unnecessary. However, in the quest of behaviour modification, drug addicts need to be treated this way as they do not respond to 'soft' approaches. Strict discipline, blended with sincere love, care and concern is the best way.

It was very heartwarming to see that although the resident may shout at each other during the Encounter Sessions, they often 'patch up' at the end of the session. When they confronted each other on their mistakes, they seem truly sincere and really want to help fellow residents change for the better.

No amount of words typed here could capture the true feelings that I have for the residents of RUMAH PENGASIH. I realize that their journey towards recovery was not easy. They were many 'relapse' cases, even after more than 5 years of being drug-free and even after being appointed as STAFF of RUMAH PENGASIH. Their will-power and strength are truly admirable.

*TRIBUTE TO RESIDENTS OF RUMAH PENGASIH*

~to cross the line might be the way across~

Random

2008-05-15T03:06:00.002+08:00

My mind is very disoriented today...that's why I'm not asleep yet.

I'm going to type random entries as I go along typing (huh?? see how disoriented I am?)

1. I sort of 'lost' a best friend years ago. Now, Allah temukan lagi dgn another friend who has almost the same characteristics (even interest!) as the 'former' best friend. Though I am not really close with this 'new' friend, we meet each other every day. hmmm.....why eh?

2. Tomorrow, a friend whom I've known since I worked in the mosque will start working at Ain Society! ;) What a small world. Actually I'm the one who recommended him to my boss...hopefully he'll stay for long.

3. There will be a MOther's Day hi-Tea event at Furama Riverfront Hotel this Saturday. Not excited: All the staff and volunteers wear sepasang mcm boria. Tu tak kisah lagi, yang bingit nye style/colour baju n tudung mcm makcik2 haha:P even my DAD commented so. Excited: My mother / future MIL and dearest fiance will tag along.... *bliss*

4. Bought a new pair of shoes from Pedal Work! Glad there's finally a shop which carry my European feet size. Ceh! nak step Europeaaaan ajek!

5. I want to lose weight! Gosh, it suddenly dawn on me that I'm too fat to get married hahah just what's that supposed to mean??!

6. I just could not stand immature people who act 'cute' in the most inappropriate times e.g. during meetings, serious discussion....

7. I'll be going to KL next week. To PENGASIH again, but this time, I'm bringing the youths along! yay! ;) I even plan to meet my sis in KL...and we might even return to Spore together ;)

8. I want to hand over EPS totally to Syafia....I could not handle both youths and families at the same time. Both macam2 karenah...but I enjoy layan the youths more.

9. I am VERY ANGRY at someone. I think he's the most ungrateful person I ever met. The sad thing is, he's a community leader!

10. I want to sleep now.

~to cross the line might be the way across~

Medan...here I come...~

2008-04-30T23:20:00.004+08:00

I'm going to Medan, Indonesia... yippee~

Will be leaving in less than 5 hrs' time ;) Together with Pak Usop, Kak Yati, Zai & Syafia...

When we informed the students that the Youth Centre will be closed for the next 2 days, they shouted 'friendly' protest...hehe:)

"Staff asik keluar jalan2 je! Abeh tinggalkan kitorg" "Ehhh....dua hari tutup...abeh Saturday n Sunday pon tak sekolah...Nak buat ape sey 4 hari kat rumah??!!" => among the things they said ;)

kelakar kan? Biasanya budak2 suka klw tak sekolah...ni terbalik.... They said that they have nothing to do at home and would rather come to the Centre.

I kinda pity these kids. It's very sad when u feel bored in yr own home. Maybe some of them attend school for the sake of friends; not sp much of the positive inputs that they could gain from the programmes. However, another way to look at it is that, it's better for these kids to be in the Centre than loitering outside doing nothing, and worst still fell into bad companies.

GoNna MisS u GuYs....

And Yeah... YoU toO, HOney..... ;D

~to cross the line might be the way across~

Straight Journey to The Straits Kitchen?

2008-04-30T01:08:00.005+08:00

Went to Straits Kitchen @ Hyatt Hotel for lunch. It was meant as an appreciation for all staff :)

Me, Zai & Rizal were told to close our youth centre by 11:30 and proceed to Dhoby Ghaut MRT and wait for the next instruction. As usual, we were late; we left the center only at 12pm.

After dismissing all the students,we took a taxi to Dhoby Ghaut. Barely five mins later, Zai received a call from one of the youths, saying that a verbal fight just broke between 2 boys and they were shouting like mad. Damn. We were so terkilan as it had been only 5 mins since we left them, and now they were creating trouble.

Rizal also received a call from the public, complaining about the boys fighting under the void deck. The person intended to call the police, and Rizal did not stop him. Meanwhile, I tried to call some other boys and they seem to be wanting to keep things secret and assured me that everything was under control; when actually 3 police cars had already arrived in the void deck to gather the boys' statement.

We were all worried for the students. Me and Zai felt like patah balik to the Centre but was stopped by Rizal. He said that things will be ok and that sometimes we should stop mothering these boys and let them face the consequences of their actions. Haiz...dah namanya perempuan kaan...kanciong lah sikit... :p

Upon reaching Hyatt Hotel, we told Pak Usop what's happening back in the Centre. He told us to forget about work matters for a while and enjoy our lunch...mknn memang power beb~ apa taknya..$70/per head :p

A'lillah, none of the boys (or girls, for this matter! haiz...yg perempuan pon kena...pdhal they were just at the wrong place in the wrong time) were taken by the police. The police simply screened they ICs, and since none of them had any pending cases, all were released...phew!

This is the challenge when you have over 50 orang 'anak-anak' yang nak dijaga...

Apapun, I still LOVE my girls and boys....really I do... *heart fills with warmth and serenity*

~to cross the line might be the way across~

Touched

2008-04-30T00:47:00.004+08:00

"....Dan susah nak ada org yg care pasal Dan. Semua buat hal sendiri hidup Dan da mcm tak bererti...Bile di rumah Dan mcm org gaji tapi tkda gaji. Dan sakit tkda org peduli. thkz kakak 4 care about me...Dan syg kakak. Alangka gembire nye jike ada org care pasal Dan...Im vry happy..

Kakak, Dan hanye nk seseorg untk tahu perasaan Dan. Kdang2 Dan rasa nk lari rumah...Tetapi Dan fikir kalau Dan lari rumah Dan nk duduk ane kn..Dari itu Dan membuat keputusan untk dduk umah dan bersaba aje...Sory if Dan banyak benda untk kasi kakak tau. Dan tk tau dgn sape nak luah kn perasaan.. Sory"

This is the exact text that one of my youths smsed me just now (name has been changed to protect his identity.)

I was so touched by the sms. I felt very very sad. It never failed to touch my heart when a teenager came up to me and share his/her inner feelings. Although the text message above was not shared in a meet-up, face-to-face session, I could not help but feel that it takes a lot of courage for a 16-yr-old boy to express his feelings as such, even through text messaging.

~to cross the line might be the way across~

I am....

2008-04-04T10:45:00.002+08:00

I am...having a high fever

I am...bored to death

I am...thinking about the youths

I am...craving for chocolate

I am...wondering why the poor's getting pooreer and the rich shop till they drop dead

I am...missing him badly

Help me...

~to cross the line might be the way across~

Titleless Entry

2008-04-04T10:20:00.007+08:00

Went to KL for a Work Plan Seminar (a more glamorous term for 'retreat') last weekend.

Had a great time; the working committee was applauded for the smooth planning and execution process.

However, it left us with hardly any time to SHOP :p

It was announced that my vocation will be officially changed to 'Counsellor' ;)

*give myself a self-pat on the shoulder*

~to cross the line might be the way across~

Alhamdulillah~

2008-03-23T23:33:00.004+08:00

Two things to be syukur of ;)

I've officially graduated~ :D

Baby Shaza (Darwish's sis) - born on 21st Mar 2008 ;)

~to cross the line might be the way across~

Career Talk

2008-03-18T01:28:00.003+08:00

Topic: Should married women go to work?

Venue: A coffe stall @ Bukit Batok (trust me, coffee shop is our idea of an ideal meeting place..it keeps the idea juices flowing hehe:p sometimes, we do splurge on a slightly expensive restaurant :p)

Topic presented was nothing new, but I can definitely relate to it as it is an issue that I'll be facing in the near future.

Being quite open about things, and having a wife who is working; it is certainly surprising that Pak Usop feels that with regards to the issue, it is still best to go back to the basic, i.e wanita sebagai seorang surirumah yang bertanggungjawab menjaga hal ehwal suami dan anak2 ;)

On the same note, given the context of Singapore's lifestyle today, it is hard for a family to survive comfortably if there is only a sole breadwinner, unless your husband is earning $10k/mth lah. hehe;) (kalau gitu, aku pon taknak kerja...jadi tai-tai kat rumah :p)

Personally, I will DEFINITELY want to work. Can't imagine staying at home all day long..tak reti nak buat apa. However, I'm sure the dilemma will arise when a child comes into the picture. A mother's natural instinct will be to stay with the child and not leaving him/her for a single second. And also whether it is ever possible for a woman to have the best of both worlds; both marriage and career life.

Pak Usop then highlighted on the current trend of house-husbands which certainly go against my personal values that no matter what, a man will always need to work (unless he's critically ill, which can't be helped).

Had a discussion with the significant other about this matter last week. It is more towards highlighting the issue on our crazy working hours. He had just started a 12-hr shift work schedule and although I'm in the office-hr workshift, I never clocked in less than 12 hours daily :p It is difficult for us to find a time which both of us are free. If this continues after we are married, there'll be times when we won't meet each other for 3 straight days!

Absence makes the heart grows fonder, I hope! ;)

Oh, by the way...I'm LOVING my job right now...and everything/everyone else in my life... ;)

Recently awarded the parchment for my Post-Grad Diploma (Counselling) from Edith Cowan University and also appeared on TV for a Suria programme, PG (Perihal Generasi) ;)

There'll be e review in my vocation at work...hoping for a pay rise...heheh;) Added responsibilities are also expected, though! :p

Meanwhile, the significant other is ENJOYING himself @ Redang now....jealous nye!!

Pic taken from his Samsung E450... ;)

~to cross the line might be the way across~

Unwind?

2008-02-23T22:00:00.002+08:00

I'm dead tired...

Last Thursday, had last minute assignment to accompany BBE Gen-Y youths to the Padang for the final countdown to the announcement of country host for YOG 2010. I had to go with another colleague, Zai. We vowed to stay up till the announcement and will then make our move. It's up to the youths if they want to stay longer. We hated crowded place, we say. And we just hate it being a last minute assignment. haha:p

But, once we were there, we were soon absorbed into the atmosphere! Can't stop cheering and shouting and making lots of noizes - it was so contagious. We even felt very nervous, seconds before the announcement was made; padahal macam lah pernah ikut perkembangan ;) I didn't even know 9 countries actually participated in the bidding hehe;)

And when "SINGAPORE!!" was announced, we jumped up from our seat and start to shout hysterically hahah:) (mati kalau our boss nampak! tak sopan langsung!)

We ended up, not only staying till the end of the whole event, but also had dinner with the youths :p we just felt like celebrating... ;)

I woke up the next day with bodyaches, sore throat and a slight fever :(

Tapi ku gagahkan diri jugak pergi kerja, coz on that day some of the youths are scheduled to register for their N level class. Me and Zai (again! hehe u might wonder: "staff Ain Society ni dua orang je ke??" :p ) accompanied the students to BMC Academy @ Jurong East. Personally, I really look forward to this. Getting these kids back to school, even though it's a private education.

BMC, out of their goodwill, is willing to sponsor 20 students for the N level class at both Jurong and Tampines branch. We were so grateful of that, and I had even made prior arrangement and segregration of the students.

However, during registration, lain pulak ceritanya. I have to take out 4 students (who are supposed to sign up at Jurong) to be enrolled at Ang Mo Kio branch. The problem is, most of the students are staying in Jurong area and I've already 'sacrificed' those staying in the north, i.e sembawang and woodlands to go to Tampines. I questioned the officer in charge and explained to her about the earlier arrangment that has been agreed on. I suggested that she check with the Principal, whom i've liaised with all the while.

It broke my heart when I was informed that the Principal said that "No choice. the students have to go to AMK." Their reason: Jurong can't accommmodate any more of our students as they also have walk-in students (who pay!) who wants to enrol with BMC.

At first, I was quite pissed off at the administration glitch. I mean, it was confirmed just the night before that 12 students will register at Jurong! Then, I was saddened by how we were somewhat given a 2nd class treatment just because we don't pay a single cent. So kira dapat free, jadi tak boleh banyak cakaplah...ikut aja~ haiz....

Terpaksa pujuk the students...nasib baik ada yg volunteer to be transferred to AMK, and none of them made a big fuss...

I just hope all of them could study well.... :)

After the registration was settled, we walked all the way to IMM to buy some stuff for our Youth Hub. God...it was so far, and the heat was scorching!

Was very tired once we returned to the Youth Hub...and that was when I was told that I had to conduct a group counselling session that night. God! I felt like screaming. And it didnt help that during the session, one of the participants gave me the kind of look which said: "Hey girl, who are you to give us advice? We eat salt before you, you know??" haha

And I took the bus home and there was a massive jam at PIE. Shucks~

By the time I got home, I was already feverish and went to sleep early.

Woke up the next day and alhamduillah felt well enough to attent to the day's agenda - An outing with some of the youths at Escape Theme Park ;) 3 hari berturut-turut bawak budak2 ni keluar... :p

But we had loads of fun...cuma yg tak best nye, biasalah kan...the motion sickness hit me and as usual, i threw up. Tak pernah tak muntah kalau pergi Escape ni :)

I'm tired...but I enjoyed it....

ohh yeah...and tomorrow, a whole day of giving tuition...haiz, cari duit extra lah katakan.... :)

~to cross the line might be the way across~

Class 3!!!

2008-02-13T01:25:00.000+08:00

I got my license! ;) 4 loong years....

2004 - Failed TP test in Sept and was not in time to re-take as I had to travel to Egypt for my studies.

2005 - Had the intention to 'apply' for license in Egypt, tp last minit 'nama tak naik' haha:p Inilah kalau dah nak buat kerja cara 'undertable' kan..heheh..mmg tuhan tak kasilah :p

2006 - By this time, my FTT has expired. Just started my first job and did not have any intention yet to re-take FTT.

2007 - Terbuka hati untuk re-take FTT atas desakan pihak-pihak tertentu. hehe. Passed after 3 attempts :p Started my driving lessons, but different instructor than the first time. hehe;)

4th Feb 2008 - Walaupun saat ni amat dinanti-nantikan, tapi this date was the worst day of my life. Nope, I did not fail the test; neither do i pass :P I was supposed to sit for my TP test at 2:45pm. Had my warm-up lesson until 2:15pm. Only then, I realized I did not bring my PDL along! The instructor was soo angry. He even said he never had student like me before. Sedih betul bila dia ckp gitu. My dad, who is a traffic policeman came down to talk to the TP testers. No amount of negotiation to let me just sit for the test w/o my PDL worked out. I had no choice but to re-apply for PDL and get another date. Luckily, they allow me to sit for the test at an early date which is only one week later. If not, I need to wait for another 2 months! :p My PDL was mysteriously lost......I kept on thinking...apa hikmah all these, yea...

11th Feb 2008 - I officially hold a CLASS 3 Driving License!!! :) with 18 demerit points...hehe

I've started to try and drive my dad's Trajet. Whoa...it was sooo different. Getting used to the huge car is one thing, having to adjust myself to an auto car is another. Apatah lagi dgn suara-suara panik si penumpang, jadi kita yg driver ni pon ikut panik sekali! :p

4 years of waiting has definitely been worth it... :)

~to cross the line might be the way across~

Updates

2008-01-24T00:24:00.000+08:00

Wow, it's been a while since I update this blog. Too busy, or perhaps, too lazy :p

I'm now engaged :) It was quite awkward to call myself someone's fiancee. Even Eid feels the same way. We are so used to declare ourselves as 'matair', that the idea of introducing him as my fiance or vise versa seems too dramatic. Maybe because nothing much has changed in our relationship; we still play the same roles as before. For me, it's a good sign.

Many friends have warned me about the challenges that one normally faces during engagement period, "guy becoming more obsessive" tops the list. I tried asking Eid about his expectations of me after the engagement, whether he needs me to be more obliging (haha!), to cut down on my working hours (the hours are crazy, i tell ya) or to report to him every single things that I do (like wanting to go down to the shop etc.) or anything else that he may have in mind :p

Yes, he does expect one thing from me. To slim down. hahaha:P

After discussing about this, we thought that it's best that we stay the way we are. The open communication remains. Engagement i is merely another bond that tightens the relationship towards bringing it to another level. It is an indication that we are treating marriage matter seriously.

Since the engagement day, Eid had come to visit my parents and some other relatives. It's exciting to have another member introduced to the family. Oh Allah, I badly want this relationship to last.

There's an unexpected calmness that I feel after getting engaged. Knowing that the person you really want to be with, is accepted in your family; that's precious. It's been 8 looong years... :)

Work's great nowadays. Tiring but fulfilling. Previously, I handled family cases but I'm now transferred to Ain Society Gen-Y Youth Hub. Working with the youths is a dream come true for me. Not that I don't enjoy doing what I did previously (working with families), but handling youths are more challenging and meaningful, especially when we consider long-term results. Youths has so much energy in them, that you know that none of them should go wasted. It is the ray of hope that youths can cling on to, no matter how bad their life seems to turn out to be.

Together with another 4 of my colleagues (now I have a team! ;) ), we run programs for Out-of-School Youths (OSYs). Personally, I hate to label them as such. They are to me, just a group of youths who are currently not attending mainstream schools due to various reasons.

The profile of the youths also varies. We have youths who are expelled due to discipline issues, youths who left mainstream school to studies overseas but was forced to return to Singapore; but what saddens me most is that some of these youths left school at primary level and some don't even have previous school education at all!

I just can't believe it. How can a parent not doing anything when his child was expelled from school when he was only primary one?? How can a parent not allow children to go to school at all??

It is really an eye-opener for me. Singapore being a developing country, and there are still these pockets of people who are not equipped appropriately to face the challenges ahead.

The Youth Hub practices the Therapeutic Community (TC) approach that holds on firmly to the family milieu concept. Students are treated as family members; and being youths, the sense of belonging is very important. This concept/approach is also meant to instill discipline and confidence in every members and to allow them the avenues to deal with their feelings. The focal point of change in them is the behaviour.

After completing the first phase, students are then assigned to their N levels class or other courses of interest.

Whatever the outcome is, our concern is the well-being of the family members. We believe that with the right attitude, these youths will be able to make it ;)

~to cross the line might be the way across~

Counting the Days....

2007-12-31T02:10:00.000+08:00

5 more days to go....*tick tock tick tock*

Preparation's almost done...

To be honest, I never imagine anything like this at all...preferred something simple...

But some things just turn out unplanned....

And that's exactly why I'm worried too - the unplanned...

I'll just hope for the best..that the 8 yrs are worth it...

The best friend...the lover..

Who's been loyal throughout the years when I was gone...

And forgave me for the terrible mistake that I've done...

Who was there through moments of laughters and tears...

Acknowledged my strength and soothed my fears....

14th June 1999 : The Chatline

15th Feb 2001 : The Confession

May 2001 - Jun 2005 : The Overseas Studies

2006 : The Biggest Mistake

2007 : The Reconcilation

Years to come : The Challenges

Thank you, dearest.

~to cross the line might be the way across~

Ehem...

2007-12-07T12:44:00.001+08:00

Personality Test

2007-12-07T12:39:00.001+08:00

IQ test

2007-12-07T12:35:00.001+08:00

Indulge & Bulge

2007-11-27T01:23:00.000+08:00

Indulge : Food
Bulge : Fat

Indulge : Clothes
Bulge : Drawers

Indulge : Outings
Bulge : Wallet (with payment receipts, that is!)

Indulge : Passion
Bulge : Workload

Indulge : Relationship
Bulge : Responsibility

All these might not make sense to you, but it does to me. The whole 'bulge' of it.

~to cross the line might be the way across~

P-time, M-Time and....NO-TIME? ;)

2007-11-27T00:35:00.000+08:00

"Hall (1959) first proposed the handling of time as one of the key components of culture. He used the terms Monochronic and Polychronic to describe two basic orientations to time.

The Monochronic orientation (or "M-Time") views time as sequential and linear. Time is seen as being a limited resource which is constantly being used up, and thus scheduling tends to be "tighter," more rigid, with great importance placed on promptness.

From the Monochronic perspective, late arrival for a meeting is viewed as rudeness, and events and activities are scheduled sequentially, one after another, to avoid overlapping. This perspective is oriented to the future.

The Polychronic orientation (or "P-Time") views time in a more "circular" fashion, as the turning of the seasons, and time is seen as renewing itself each year. Scheduling tends to be "loose" and flexible, with many last-minute changes to even highly significant events and activities. Often many activities are juggled simultaneously, and promptness is not considered important. This perspective is oriented to the past and/or present.

Monochronic people are more likely to be task-oriented than relationship-oriented, and may be viewed bypolychronic observers as "valuing things over people."
In contrast, polychronic people are more relationship-oriented than task-oriented and thus may be viewed by monochronic observers as not taking their work and goals seriously.

Monochronic people are likely to feel insulted when a polychronic acquaintance or colleague is late for a meeting;
polychronic people are likely to be offended when a monochronic acquaintance or colleague seems too focused on their work to swap stories about their families or what is going on in the world around them. "

Read about this in Oprah Winfrey's mag. and after taking the written quiz, I found out that I fall in between these two extreme categories...*phew*

So which one are you?? ;)

~to cross the line might be the way across~

Let's Celebrate HappYNess!!

2007-11-16T00:04:00.000+08:00

Initially, I intend to update this blog bwith another entry on questions that have been bugging me, my confusions, complaints, worry, feeling of unfairness & helplessness and so on. I think being in my profession, we kind of get used to problems and pathologies in life that a slight ray of hope is regarded with awe. Everything that happens in life is scrutinized for even grains of imperfections; as if we need the constant reminder that life is full of flaws.

So then I decided to write an entry on a more positive note. As the entry title suggests, let's just embrace happiness and make a list of all the happy things that have been happening in my life ;)

1) Attended a Loss & Grief Counselling Workshop (so much for embracing happiness! hehe) with fellow colleagues, Zai & Asfi. What I enjoyed most was having to attend the course with both of them, because even though we have been staffs of Ain Society for a few months now, there wasn't much opportunity to mingle with each other as they work at our Youth Centre in Bukit Batok whereas I am attached at our HQ in Joo Chiat ;)

The workshop contents were enriching as it gave an insight to understanding bereaved children & adolescents who are going through the process of grief as a result from loss or trauma. It is important to note that when a person lost a significant other in his/her life, whether by means of death, separation, adoption etc. it is never about 'letting it go' and 'moving on with life'. It is about living WITH the painful experience and how a person makes meaning out of it. It is also about acknowledging the person's grief and providing a space for him/her to grief properly. How beautiful.... :)

2) Received a gift from Sis Yati ;) She just came back from a visit to US and generously bought an original COACH purse for me! hehe;) Not that Im a big fan of COACH or any other designer brands, but owning one certainly makes me happy! hehe

3) Started my second attempt at driving...yippee! ;) But I was very nervous after 2 years of not being behind the wheels and it doesn't really help that I decided on 1 1/2 hrs for my first lesson haha. My feet nearly gave up on me after the tedious 'half-clutch position' and finding that 'biting point' hehe;) Ooopss! I'm not supposed to complain rite? :P

4) Managed to convince someone that it might not be wise to own a car yet. hehe;) Disagreeing in a subtle manner really knocked some sense into the person. heheh;) sorry dear~ ;)

5) WE have BIG plans. In the midst of discussion, we were quite surprised by the positive responses from the elders. We certainly hope that everything goes smoothly as planned ;)

Till then,

Happy being HAPPY to all!! *winks*

~to cross the line might be the way across~

Eid Mubarak

2007-10-10T17:10:00.000+08:00

The last time I blogged was a few days after the beginning of Ramadhan...been too busy and now it's 2 days away from Eid ;)

Had my weekend classes last week...and it has been a very looooong week :P I just can't bear to think of the long weekend ahead, so what I did was looking forward for my birthday heheh;)

Hey, the girl just got to have something exciting to hold on to :P As a birthday treat, I got to taste Chocolate Fondue at Swensen's for the first time...courtesy of the significant other :p Oh my, the choc fondue was heavenly! ;) jakun sekejap heheh

Oh by the way, I have only a weekend of class more to go and after that....freedom!! hehe;) it has been quite a struggle for me especially when I started to work and study at the same time ;) but I can feel the sweet victory already..except I still have THREE more assignments to go! *sigh*

Even then, my coursemates have plans for a 'graduation dinner'..they are such a bunch of sweet people...always wanting to organize gatherings heheh;) Here is a photo of my coursemates who have been through hell together ;)

Anyway, Salam Aidilfitri buat semua ;) Minal A'idin Wal Fa'izin, Mohon maaf zahir dan batin :)

~to cross the line might be the way across~

Still here...

2007-09-19T23:26:00.001+08:00

Just dropping by to say..Im still alive!

Have been very very busy. Hectic schedule in Ramadhan, classes almost every weekend, 3 assignments due, all those Ramadhan programs...arghhh~

Like I said, Im still alive!

~to cross the line might be the way across~

Hopeful Helplessness

2007-08-27T12:00:00.000+08:00

I'm writing this blog in my office. First time.

I'm stressed out.

I've been entertaining calls since morning from people asking for help.

You could never imagine what these people go through every day. And here we are living in Singapore, reputed to be one of the richest country in the world.

It's just too depressing at times. And I felt helpless. But hopeful.

Even our assistance are somewhat limited.

On the other hand, some of these people don't really need assistance, just a friend to listen to them.

There was a time when I went for a home visit to a single mother's house who also suffers from breast cancer. It was very heart-warming when she declined help for herself, saying that she already has enough to get by. "If you must, please just help my daughter in her studies. Other that that, I just need someone to talk to. Thanks for listening," she said with a beaming smile. I just felt like crying. You never knew that the littlest thing you do could have a big impact on people like her.

I just hate the feeling of not being able to help. I hate disappointing them.

On the same note, I have to be very careful about this. I think I'm too overwhelmed by the fact that these people sound so desperate over the phone.

The reality might be different.

Now I know why some of my friends say that doing social work can be emotionally-draining. But hey, I'm enjoying it.

*sigh* The irony of life.

~to cross the line might be the way across~

These Advantaged Families

2007-08-23T01:28:00.000+08:00

This is such a random entry. It's been quite some time since I last blogged, reason being I just can't come up with a reason to blog. hehe

Work's taking up most of my time, as usual. Not that I'm complaining. I love this job so far. Maybe I'll just update on what I'm currently doing at my workplace.

1) I've been coordinating upgrading courses for my clients, with the hope that they'll be employed or even get better employment once they acquire the relevant skills.

2) Ain Society has just launched the telepol for our donation drive. It has been chosen to be Warna 94.2fm's adopted charity. Part of the donation campaign is getting our clients to go on air and share their experience being helped by the agency. I admit that I was a bit 'jakun' when it comes to my first time to be in a radio station's conty. Seeing the DJ in action made me realize that this is just another job and nothing glamorous as we might have thought. It's hard work and it's about earning a decent living, albeit the popularity gained.

It was particularly satisfying, when last Friday I managed to get a client whom I've outreached to, to share her experience on air. She's suffering from Thalasemia Major and her child has learning difficulties. I admire her sincerity and determination to help Ain Society although we had only reached out to her a few weeks ago. Nevertheless, we are committed to help her family, especially pertaining to her children's education needs.

Interacting with these disadvantaged families is very enriching as I get to see real life situations, which I could never imagine happening to me. All the horror stories I read in the papers or watch at TV come to life. Dealing with them is never an easy task as it involves mulit-faceated issues and problems.

I have to remind myself all the time not to be too judgemental towards these people. You might be surprised that some of them do really want to change. It may take time, but they are willing to try. They merely need support and guidance along the way.

I always believe that there's a good side of self in everyone.

~to cross the line might be the way across~

Naeem vs Ain

2007-07-17T01:26:00.000+08:00

Those are the names of my previous and current workplace respectively.

I know it's too early to judge, but so far alhamdulillah, I like my current job, despite the horror of being exposed to the office politics as early as my first day of work. (can you believe it!). I learnt a valuable lesson that there are always two sides of a story and neither one of them may seem right to you. We have to judge, but at the same time we have to refrain ourselves from being too judgemental (how's that for a new worker!).

The situation was so bad that I was even considering to quit after only a week. I am grateful to have 'elder friends' who could provide sound advice and got me into looking at things from different perspectives. The best thing was, all of them did not force answers down my throat. They asked me to THINK POSITIVE instead.

That may sound cliche, but when I did put it into practice, I felt that it was very powerful. How we look at the events in our life is very much dependant on our state of MIND. And the good thing is, we can CONTROL our mind.

If I allow myself to feel overwhelmed by the 'horror' stories that I heard about my new workplace, I may CHOOSE to give up, quit and find another job.

If I allow myself to relax and be cool about things, I may CHOOSE to face the situation and think positively that my experience can possibly be different from what other people had gone through.

Open your mind, you're a positive thinker

Open your heart, you'll comunicate better

Open your arms, and you're a peacemaker

(I can't resist the next made-up verse!)

Open your mouth, oi! nak lalat masuk kee...??!

Crap? Lame?

Well, but I'm going to think positive and say that it's the most wonderful poetic verse I have ever written :)

p/s: Finally! CKin2U for me - and him! A sweet surprise~

~to cross the line might be the way across~

An Exciting Journey

2007-07-04T00:50:00.000+08:00

I'm sooOO excited! Two of my best friends finally got a job ;) Kudos to both Jaja and Shidah~ jangan lupa belanja tau~ haha:D

It was a very long wait for them and I really admire their patience and strong determination. It was worth it gals~

Shidah will be joining me in the same field of work - social service. Jaja is into the education line; a civil servant to be exact! ;) bak kata orang-orang tua, kerja dengan GOMEN (government!) hehe;)

All the best to both of you! Look out for a rocky but exciting journey ahead, yea~ *muacks*

Aduh...kental nya kita...and it was just a few years ago :p Hope you don't mind the pic hehe;)

~to cross the line might be the way across~

Republic of Food

2007-06-24T23:27:00.000+08:00

Today, we decided to spend quality time together by EATING. Haha;) Whenever we plan a date, eating is always in the list. It's not like Singapore lacks of places to visit, but some of these places are hard-to-reach areas or even unknown of. Furthermore, there are so many food outlets around that there's always a place which we've never explored ;)

Today, we set our mind on Food Republic @ Suntec City for lunch. The first time I read about it on the papers, I've fallen in love with it ;) A food place with a library concept spells 'cool'! I just have to check it out.

So there we were, mesmerized by the layout that we almost felt like we were in some European country. It was amazing! One setback, though, not all the food stalls is halal. I was informed that there's only 2 halal stalls owned by a Muslim lady - Rumah Kampung & another stall selling Italian dishes (which I regret not remembering its name).

I had a Wrap with Lamb Fillings and he had Fullini Pasta with Alfredo Sauce. It was such a scrumptious meal that we even forgot to take pictures of the food - digging into it as soon as it was served! As for the drinks, it was Mango Soda for him and Kiwi Soda for me ;)

I was so tempted when I saw a man carrying a tray of toast meal from Toast Box. I just can't resist the smell of the peanut-buttered one-inch toast, that I got a set meal for myself - toast with half-boiled eggs and coffee. Funny having my breakfast AFTER lunch :P

Then we proceed to Marina Square to get a belated father's day gift for bapak. I also got myself a pair of Gio Linen Pants, Maybelline Lipcolour and a book. Haha. As if it's soo important to share on my blog :P I'm not shameful to admit that I got the book because I was attracted by its cover hehe. So much for not judging a book by its cover! :p

After the shopping spree, we craved for dessert :P Dropped by at Secret Recipe and tucked into a piece of brownies with vanilla ice-cream and a glass of Green Apple Kasturi (VERRYYY SOUR!!) for him and Frosted Lychee for me.

I'm growing fat-TER. Yeah, I'm already fat. But happy. haha:D

~to cross the line might be the way across~

Clearwater

2007-06-11T00:12:00.000+08:00

It's been a while since my last entry. Quite busy with my new job. Alhamdulillah, everything is quite ok, the workplace is not without its usual office politics (it's scary that I got to know about it on my very first day at work) but I've made up my mind to tolerate and make the best out of it.

This evening, I went for a BBQ planned by my coursemates at Clearwater condo, hence the entry title (no idea for the title). It's a gathering for us after a challenging semester and I was really glad I attended it.

I met this lovely couple, who happens to be one of my coursemate's son n his girlfriend, John and Ally. Both of them are Americans and they recently graduated from a University in Chicago majoring in Sociology.

I need to pen what I gather from them because I felt it was very informative. Honestly, I have never had any close interactions with Caucasians, so talking to them initially built up some sort of anxiety in me. Luckily both of them were very friendly and open in their sharings.

They are currently involving themselves with working with the African American community, whom they claimed are being discriminated, despite America being 'the land of opprtunities'. I was quite saddened by the fact that majority of these African American people live in poverty in a neighborhood with high crime rates and poor education system.

The schools are funded by property tax which doesn't add up to much, considering that it needs to finance the education for children from low-income families. With only a funding of about $1000/child annually, the schools can't even accommodate well-trained teachers and well-developed school syllabus. The children don't even own school books.

John, Ally and some of their friends are working into creating awareness to these people on the importance of education and to assist them in getting out and merge into the mainstream. This will then hopefully helps them to break their poverty cycle and lead a better life.

I thought their effort is very noble. Being 'whites' themselves, they were not spared of the discrimination by the 'blacks' who did question their sincerity in helping them. However, they took it as a challenge and didn't give up.

I shared with John and Ally that I have always had this beautiful picture of the States which was largely influenced by what I see in the media. John quickly dismissed it, stating that Hollywood shows crap :p

This made me think of how our country gives serious attention to be given to two aspects of the lives of its countrymen - education and harmony. The importance of living in harmony is even integrated in the education system which I felt is a very holistic approach.

Oh, by the way, John is interested in working in Singapore, particularly in teaching English and at the same time working with problematic youths. He has a deep passion for that. Any takers, anyone?? :)

~to cross the line might be the way across~

Mass Rapid Transit(ion)

2007-05-24T00:54:00.000+08:00

We go through many transitions in life. Sometimes, it takes years to go from one transition to another. Other times, you are forced to move or to move without prior notice. Although it's a major life transition, but when opportunity comes, you just have to grab it.

Within a period of 5 mths, I made a few major transitions in my life:

- quit my job @ en-naeem
- take up a Post Grad (finished a challenging semester)
- tutoring madrasah students (and vow to stay out of job for a year to focus on my studies)
- tried my luck and sent a resume to a social service organization
- went for the interview (just to see if I'm accepted)
- was accepted on the very day!

And I grabbed the offer.

Crazy yea?

Am I excited? Hmm...I am, but there's also some dilemmas.

- how am I going to inform my students?
- will I be considered as inconsistent with my decision?
- will I be expecting too much from this new workplace? how will it fair compared to the previous one?
- can I balance work and study?

I decided to take up this job because it compliments my studies..or rather, the skills that I learn will be applicable to the work. And I really need to practice it or it'll be left to rot.

I know I have to decide for myself. But I felt assured when my closed ones encourage me to go for it.

I felt so blessed by Allah....but I am never a good servant to Him.....

There are also other feelings that stir inside me. I really felt for my friends who are still struggling in securing a job. I can't help it, but how I wish that all of us will be blessed by his Rizq. But I'm sure He will work his wonders, and with their patience and endurance, they will be rewarded by Him one fine day.

Dearest friends, let's pray together for a good future ahead.

~to cross the line might be the way across~

Go-Blog atau Goblok

2007-05-19T21:25:00.000+08:00

Untuk sesiapa yang tak tahu makna 'goblok', harap dapat rujuk Kamus Dewan atau rakan-rakan berbangsa Jawa. heheh

Untuk sesiapa yang tak tahu makna 'go-blog' pula, jangan rujuk kepada mana-mana kamus Inggeris sebab tak akan jumpa. Boleh cuba rujuk kepada rakan-rakan yang samada berbangsa Inggeris/kelihatan seperti orang Inggeris/perasan seperti orang Inggeris/pura-pura reti berbahasa Inggeris.

Untuk meluaskan lagi skop pencarian, saya juga sarankan untuk rujuk kepada rakan-rakan melayu yang dah tak reti cakap bahasa melayu dan hanya suka berbahasa inggeris. hehehe.

Sebenarnya, aku ni nak sindir diri sendiri. Terus terang aku kata, aku lebih selesa menulis dalam bahasa Inggeris. Bukannya apa, bila tulis bahasa melayu ni rasanya macam ..hmmm....tulis karangan masa kat sekolah dulu pulak. Ataupun rasa macam baca Berita Harian. hehe. Ni pun, dalam masa tgh menaip ni, kepala otak fikir dalam bahasa inggeris. Alahaaiii, apa nak jadi eh??

Kalau korg perhatikan, mula-mula tadi aku sebebarnya nak cuba kekalkan tulis blog ni dalam Bahasa Melayu BAKU, siap dgn ejaan penuh lagi. hehe. Tp takpelah, untuk permulaan ni, biar aku tulis ikut gaya bahasa bercakap, jadi taklah kekok sgt ;) cuma aku boleh jamin yg kali ni aku cuba elakkan guna Bahasa Inggeris langsung.

Tp tulah, kat kamus dewan takde pula terjemahan perkataan 'BLOG'. :p

Kelakar jugak eh kalau difikirkan, kita org melayu sendiri rasa kekok nak tulis dalam Bahasa Melayu. Jangan kata tulis lah, baca pon tak berapa minat. Kalau pergi perpustakaan pon, tak pandang langsung bahagian 'Melayu'. ( ok, aku sebenarbya terfikir perkataan 'malay section' dan terus nak terjemah 'seksi melayu'.... ada ke patut?! hahaha;) )

Dah makin meingkat dewasa ni, Bahasa Inggeris dirasakan sebagai satu imej yg perlu kita kenakan, sekaligus membentuk identiti kita sbg anak Singapura. Contohnya, bila aku mula sambung belajar kat sini, tulah kali pertama aku dapat bergaul dgn rakan-rakan yg bukan berbangsa melayu. Wlwpun sebelum ni aku rasa Bahasa Inggeris aku bolehlah tahan kaan (taklah bagus sgt)...tp rupanya bila soal interaksi dgn org ni, lain tau...bukan setakat nak tau ckp, tp mcmana nak guna lenggok bahasa, gaya badan, mimik muka dan macam-macam lagi. Rasa tak yakin pun ada. NI nasib baik masih boleh selit-selit Singlish. hehe

Bila dah terbiasa berbual Inggeris pulak, bila jumpa makcik-makcik/nenek-nenek, terasa berat nak tukar pemikiran kita ke Bahasa Melayu. Pernah tak korg alami keadaan yg mana korg tau perkataan Inggeris nya tp bila nak cari perkataan melayu, punyalah susah!

Jadi, apa sebenarnya masalah kita eh? Boleh jadi tak satu hari nnt, bangsa Melayu pon akan jadi mcm Cina, yg mana ada sebahagian mereka tak fasih berbahasa mandarin? Haiiz...kritikal tu...

Secara peribadi, aku suka dgn gaya penulisan Daud Yusoff kat Majalah Manja. Wlwpon dia tulis bahasa rojak, tp kita boleh npk dr gaya penulisan dia yg dia cuba nak sampaikan maklumat kpd semua lapisan masayarakat Melayu dengan menggunakan gaya bahasa yg bersahaja.

Oh ye, satu dilema yg aku rasa sblm tulis blog dlm Bahasa Melayu ni ialah soal kata ganti diri apa yg patut dan sesuai aku gunakan; "aku" atau "saya"?? hehe "Aku" mcm kasar bunyinya (teringat dulu masa sekolah, siapa cakap "aku" "kau" kena denda. hehe), "saya" pulak mcm terlalu formal....

Tp utk kali ni, aku guna ganti diri "aku" sbb kalau tak silap, aku pernah terbaca yg istilah "aku" ni sebenarnya lagi sopan daripada "saya" mengikut penggunaan betul Bahasa Melayu ;)

Jadi, harap berilah ulasan ye...

Haa, apa kata korg pon tulis dlm Bahasa Melayu 100%! :D

~to cross the line might be the way across~ => ok, yg ni aku tak pasti mcmana nak terjemah...ada sesiapa nak cuba??

Judging a Book by Its Cover

2007-05-18T01:38:00.000+08:00

I think there's a saying, "Berguru dengan buku adalah umpama berguru dengan syaitan" right?

I think it means we are advised not to choose to gain knowledge solely by reading books but we need to get ourselves taught by knowledgeable people as to avoid misinterpretations and wrong understandings.

Well, I beg to differ. I mean, I'm not against the traditional way of learning and teaching, but there are instances whereby self-reading a book is more powerful than any human interactions. We'll be more empowered and less disheartened.

Let me relate my experience to better illustrate my point. I was going through a rough patch in my life. One that made me question my own dignity and integrity. One that made me, a training counselor, to be counseled. One that nearly shattered a a kind man's dreams. One that pushed me to the edge of the cliff. One that nearly tripped me and left me sinking in the deep sea.

There were lots of questions to be asked. Why am I involved in it? Whom should I confide in?

For the latter, the answer is definite. I can't talk to anyone. That's how taboo the issue is. At least I can't talk about it to anyone that I know personally. I'll lose face. That's why I chose counseling.

At this juncture, I also turn to self-help books. Reading those, inexplicably made me feel understood, assured and safe. Unlike human beings, books don't judge. You can choose to accept or discard 'advices' given to you without feeling any guilt. You can choose to feel inspired or unimpressed by the 'advisers' without offending anyone.

And most importantly, unlike human beings, books will never turn its back from you. It will never refuse you. It will never clam itself shut on you. It will never show disinterest in you.

Maybe that's why reading the Quran can be soothing to the soul. Not that I'm putting Quran in the same level as self-help books, but I think it works the same way with regards to therapeutic reading.

~to cross the line might be the way across~

Dangerously In Love

2007-05-11T23:47:00.000+08:00

As the title suggests, I'll be talking about love in this entry, so bear with me..hehe

Have you ever been so deeply in love that you become afraid of it? Or rather, even more afraid of yourself? And then you'll start asking, am I just being paranoid?

Being in a long-term relationship makes me think about lots of things. Not that I have second thoughts about him though..hehe (dearie, don't freak out ok~)

I'm being blunt here, but sometimes I think active hormones heighten the anxiety. Seeing people getting married, and you can't wait to have a family yourself. I'll have this inexplicable tight knot in my stomach, overpowered by a sense of jealousy. alah emak kawinkan aku~ *grin*

Whenever we are not together, I'll feel this longing to be with him. I've complained to him that we've not been doing anything except eating out when we do meet (sebab itu makin sihat...hehe) - given the clash of daily schedules - but I'm just happy to see him.

But I wonder, apart from missing him from time to time, if I'm becoming clingy and dependent.
I start to feel annoyed whenever he can't meet me, although I force myself to put an "I'm ok with it" facade. I tried not to be childish but I can't lie to myself.

I don't think this is healthy. I feel I have some attachment issues. (will read up on those..)

I keep having this nagging ugly thoughts about broken relationships and that no relationships are made to last forever. 'Forever' relationships only exist in fairy tales. I even cringe and turn skeptical at Hindustani "happy-ending" movies. Now where have all those come from??

I'm very weak in handling heartbreaks; not necessarily resulting from bad relationships. I will cry a lot and refuse to even try to keep it out of my mind. I somehow seek solace in weeping and immerse my thoughts in the distressing matter. Funny, yea? How will I take it if I end up with a broken relationship??

I need to do something about this. I'm starting to train myself to be more calm and filter my negative thoughts. I have to have faith in Allah and a good friend once reminded me not to sangka buruk in Him.

And I desperately seek His help.....

p/s: We went out just now...doing "what else is new?" @ Box Bistro, Courts Tampines. hehe:) But it was truly an enjoyable moment.

~to cross the line might be the way across~

2007-04-30T00:19:00.000+08:00

Baru je abis my assignment and sebab dah penat sgt berdepan dgn english academic writing which can be damn straining, I decided to break all rules here in my blog. YEAAHHH!!!

Im gonna use a mixture of both english n malay, writing in shortforms and not to bother about misspellings and such.

2 days ago, i was very very angry! tak taulah samada problem kat diri aku or them but my, i never knew teaching can be so menguji kesabaran. students can be so rude and disrespectful and im talking about teaching one student at a time in a tuition setting! apa lagi guru2 yg ajar satu kelas.

hari tu aku mengajar tuition 4 tempat, satu pagi & 3 sblh ptg.

pagi: bdk ni dah tau nak dekat exam, jadi aku kata nari kita concentrate hafalan. i made notes for her to simplify her hafalan. ada part, aku npk dia still susah nak hafal. so i went to the extent of doing the hafalan WITH her. bila suruh ulang, still dia tak ingat, masih merangkak2. i told her i need her to write so she can remember better. agaknye dia pon frust, dia mula hentak2 buku showing tantrums! hey, aku suruh hafal pon pljrn dia jgk kan? dia jgk yg nak xm kan..knp mesti marah2...

but i maintain my cool n wen i saw that dia tknk mengalah, aku terus pulaukan dia n stop acting friendly. lantaklah...

ptg: hujan lebat ptg tu. aku dr rumah basah kuyup gi dorset rd (near mustapha ctr.) after that, still kebasahan i went to pertapis girls home. bdk ni bila aku smp je dia tny: "alamak kaaak, knp dtg? nari kitorg nakgi concert~" "kan akak mmg dtg friday..." "alaah, saya ingat akak tak dtg sbb akak lmbt" "akak lmbt sbb ujan.." "alah kaak, saya nkgi concert.." "abeh, takkan akak nak balik. dah jauh2 akak dtg ni..." "alah kak..takpelahh....baliklaah"

mak aiii...menyirap darah, tp control lagi. but i was still firm on staying. last2 dia mengalah. amik buku n duduk utk blaja.

"marah akak ke sbb tak dpt gi concert?"

"a'ahlah...akak lah ni..." (she action2 merajuklah tu..)

"alah, kan blaja lagi important.."

"haa..yelah, blaja blaja...nah, ajarlah...jom kita blaja" (n dia aju2kan buku kat aku mcm menyindir2)

ape sey....my fault ar?!

"abeh salahkan akak ke ni? i wont teach if u r giving me this attitude. let's wait for u to calm down." (n i waited in silence)

"akak nak ajar tak ni?? saya dah nak blaja ni...akak yg tknk ajar kaan??"

"akak tkkan ajar selagi u tak tenang. tk guna akak ajar klw masuk telinga kanan, kuar tlinge kiri"

"eh akak ingatkan akak ajar free eh?? bapak saya bayar tau! akak klw tak ajar saya bilang bpk tau."

dlm hati aku, mcmlah bpk kau bayar bnyk sgt. harga nak compromise adalah. konon! duit transport aku pon tak lepas!

"same je kan, klw akak ajar pon tak absorb, lebih baik tk ajar."

"eh kan saya dah nak blaja ni, ajar jelah! knp irritating sgt ni??"

THAT was the final straw!

i cant take this verbal rudeness. it hit me so hard that i was both sad n angry at the same time. tp yg merepek nye, aku nangis~

haiz...i have weakness in controlling my tear glands.

and lagi memburukkan keadaan, aku terus meluru keluar dr pertapis n tinggalkan bdk tu. sume org npk aku nangis. merepek kan??!

aku ingat masa tu dat's the best thing to do. aku takle tahan lagi.

once keluar je dr pertapis, aku call Eid.

yg buat stress lagi, eid boleh kata ni, knp aku keluar? dat's not a wise thing to do.

WHAT?!!

aku nak dia support tp dia makin api-apikan kemarahan aku pulak!

but i manage to keep calm n hear his reasons.

dia kate, mcmana nak jadi counsellor ni klw cpt nak melenting. baru kena sikit. kan dia budak2, fikiran tak matang lagi. knp kena tunduk dgn dia. wen i cried, it goes to show that she'd won the battle. i only make it worse by running away.

spttnya aku ajar je dia. buat bodoh je dgn perangai dia. give her the cold treatment aje. klw kita ikut bertekak, kita pon sama jgk mcm dia. immature.

NOW i felt so stupid.

Eid sempat joke, tny aku samada kat tmpt blaja aku ada kosong tak sbb dia nk blaja counselling. very funny.

well, i guess it doesnt take a counsellor to figure those common senses. aku react ikut emosi. pdhal aku baru jgk baca satu buku ni n it talks about avoiding to be 'emotionally reactive'. this will help us to deal with problems better.

haizz....

mlm: nsbaik bdk ni tak buat hal...i find teaching his 10-yr-old girl refreshing. why? coz she asked a lot of questions. very inquisitive. and mind you, the questions she asked challenging beb!

why am i born after my mother? why cant i be born first, and be HER mother?
why do allah make org kafir?
if allah creates us, then who created allah?
why did allah wants nabi muhammad to be his messenger and not anyone else?
who is the first human?

and the list goes on and on...

wow..sllnye susah nak dpt budak minat pljrn Aqidah/Tauhid (Islamic Theology) ni. most mdrsh students found the subject not interesting and hard to grasp. mmglah sbb byk benda yg susah nak diterima aqal.

oklah, aku pon dah penat...wanna sleep...zZzzZZZZZZzzzzz~

~to cross the line might be the way across~

Lame...

2007-04-25T01:00:00.000+08:00

Hey, this is the 2nd entry in a day. hehe ;)

I just FEEL like doing this: writing an account of my day's event of life. haha I always consider people who only wrote about their life schedules in their blogs pretty lame, but today I just WANT to be lame.

This morning, I went for my tutoring in Rivervale Dr.

Before going home, I dropped by Tampines Library and browse on some women's magazines just to kill my time. Then I took a bus home.

Upon reaching home, I entertained my baby cousin and was delighted to see him learning how to clap his hands.

Then I helped my mother to prepare lunch.

At 3:30pm I went out again for my tuition class, and this time at Dorset Rd.

Met up with dearie next and we watch a hilarious movie, Wild Hogs.

As usual, I am recommending this movie. So do watch it~

Before going home, we had dinner at Tong Seng Coffeshop. In case any of you doesn't have any idea about the place, do ask around. It's between Bugis Junction and Shaw Towers and it's quite popular.

Again, I'm giving serious recommendation here. The wanton noodle is my favourite~

Then, we went home.

At home, I decided to update my blog.

There. That's what I call LAME.

And I have this LAMEST picture of mine to accompany the already-lame blog update.

~to cross the line might be the way across~

Twenty-Something

2007-04-24T23:57:00.000+08:00

Please go through this checklist:-

I should be further along in life than I am now
I don't want to grow up
I feel overwhelmed by the number of options available
I never got a road map to life
I frequently get stressed out
I feel pressured to succeed
I second-guess my career & life decisions, especially when I compare myself to friends
I feel depressed by the lack of options
I am still trying to figure out who I am
Some days I quietly wonder, "Is this all there is?"
I feel a significant amount of instability in my life
I feel like no one really understand

If you agree to at least half of these statements, you are in the QUARTERLIFE CRISIS ;) faced by most 20-somethings. As for me, ALL the statements applied to me; so I guess I am in a very critical condition :p

There are these big dreams of yours and it is such a rude awakening that even a degree certification doesn't buy you a direct-entry ticket to adulthood. It isn't a guidebook titled: "How to Move On From Here". It is not even a manual on how to open the door to adulthood. There are so many things to achieve and it's suffocating. I always feel that everything needs to be cramped in my 20s - career path, financial stability, life plan & even leisure.

As much as I love what I'm doing now, sometimes I wonder whether I should go back to full-time work ;) With all the financial obligations; and with my unstable income, it is hard to maintain a decent budget without finding myself being penniless at times. hehe.

I find myself stressing all the time. I keep on thinking about what's in store next for me in life. I am a very here-and-now person, yet these thoughts have been bugging me and I have to literally drag myself out of it to avoid feeling depressed.

Don't get me wrong. I still enjoy the littlest things in life. I still adore my family and my love. We share great moments together. But I think each of us are responsible for our own happiness. That's why I've been thinking, "what is it that will make me HAPPY in life"? Happiness is very subjective and we have to make sure we decide on our own definition of it before it is defined by someone else. Worst still, if someone else dictates you and determines your happiness.

And also, recently, I realized a horrifying truth. I have no CLOSE girlfriends. hehe. Y'know, the buddy-buddy girlfriend type to whom you shared all your secrets, aspirations, fear of the uncertainties or even just plain gossiping. Pathetic, yea? But that's just how it is.

Tiba-tiba masing-masing jadi sibuk dengan komitmen sendiri. I don't deny that there are close friends from school days whom we still keep in touch with but it is only on occasional basis. Of course, we keep up-to-date with each other's major life transitions (wedding, engagement, employment, pregnancy etc.) but none of which we contact daily. It is just not possible to do that unlike during school/college/Uni days. I really treasure those moments and I miss it so much.

Nevertheless, I think it is a part of life that we have to go through. At least, if I do meet up with my girlfriends on rare gatherings/occasions, I always look forward to it as this is a chance to catch up with them on lost days/months or even years.

Oh yah, regarding the quarterlife crisis, I assure you that all of us are facing the same thing and I am trying to convince all of you -including myself!- that this is just a phase and it will end (not so soon though, this is the Reality World not the Reality TV! hehe)

Tag me (by that I meant in the 'comments' section hehe masih malas nak letak tagboard) if any of you felt the same. It will very assuring and encouraging and I hope the sharing can be beneficial for all ;)

(below) This is the book that inspires me to write this entry. It really makes me feel understood ;)

Title : Twenty-Something : Surviving & Thriving In The Real World

Author : Margaret Feinberg

~to cross the line might be the way across~

Self-Control

2007-04-12T01:56:00.000+08:00

I volunteered with Fei Yue Community Services to conduct a program in one of the primary schools here. Selected students are to undergo this program which aims to tackle issues on their self-control. It's some kind of an "anger management" program, only this is for kids :)

You will be surprised at how angry this bunch of kids can be when they feel agitated, frustrated and anxious. And as the theme of the program goes, as trainers, we have to practice self-control as well and most of the time it wasn't so easy when dealing with these kids. ;)

Nevertheless, they were all very sweet and special in their own way. While some need extra attention and TLC, others will put up a controlled and a more gung-ho facade to mask their anima self. Yeah rite. As expected, most of them are boys. hehe.

More frequently, we will be doing indoor activities but today we did something more exciting which was fishing by the pond! :D Not exactly FISH-fishing but it was PRAWN-fishing hehe. If there's any such word as PRAWN-ing, then that would be a better description to it ;)

We went to the Pasir Ris pond and we were very glad that the weather was promising and it wasn't that hot as much as what we had anticipated :p We took a school bus... ( the wheels on the bus go round and round..round and round... - it's a nursery rhymes, in case some of you were so lost in adulthood..hehe )

Me with Sara
The boys

I've never gone fishing before and it never interests me at all. But these kids are really looking forward to this trip. They were always eagerly asking whether they could bring the prawns that they've caught back home ;)

It's all about preserverance

Unfortunately, most of them didn't catch anything at all. It was definitely not easy and depended most of the time on your luck to have the prawn hooked to the bait. Surprisingly, throughout the hour that we spent there, we saw a few pieces of dead prawns floating...probably cooked to death by the weather heat...?? euuewwww..!! :p

But I admired the kid's preserverance and patience. When one of them actually caught a prawn, the others felt motivated and hoped for 'success'. Therefore, it saddened me to see disappointment in their faces at the end of the allocated 1-hr; some did cry and felt like a failure. I thought it was normal for a child to react to failure in that manner; but I was surprised when some of them actually acted very maturely and would come up to the distraught friend to try to console and encourage him. They were the 'failures' too but they manage to potray such sincerity towards helping a friend to feel better and that were undisputably very commendable acts. ;)

Here are some shots of the kids who manage to get a prawn :)

Their prized prawns. They were huuge...hehe ;)

Surprisingly, the management of the prawn pond had decided o give away a big prawn each to the kids. Phew! :o We were so thankful that due to theri generosity, we were not bringing back sulking kids to the school as if we had just returned from a funeral ;)

~to cross the line might be the way across

Adobe-ing

2007-04-08T03:20:00.000+08:00

I'm not sure what I want to share. Not even sure if there's anything to share. hehe. Let me see...hmmm...yeah~ maybe I can share something new that I picked up today, which is editing photos with photoshop. ;)

Ok, I know my bro, Yazid is going to give me that wary look seeing how jakun his sister is. hehe. I'm not IT-savvy so having to be able to do something with adobe IS an achievement ;)

Hehe. The experts might laugh at this but I'll still be proud of it. It's my effort :)

~to cross the line might be the way across~

Comfort Level

2007-04-07T00:25:00.000+08:00

When I decided to have a blog, I never thought that it would be read by anyone unless I put up a link in my friendster. And yes, most of my friends knew about it through the link provided. I'm more than happy to allow people close to me to catch a glimpse into my personal life. Besides that, your encouraging words have been a great support and I was very touched by the empathic response towards my issues and problems. Thanks friends! ;)

Masalahnya, tiba-tiba terasa tak selesa pulak. It's like having an open book which can be accessed by practically everyone in the world. hehe. That is being exaggerating lah. Maybe because my initial intention of having a blog was only to have satu wadah meluah rasa, perasaan dan pendapat, and to have it publicized in friendster was quite a wrong move. Dahlah my friendster tak set to 'private profile'. hehe.

And also because what I shared was very personal, it's quite intimidating to know the fact that some stranger may judge me based on my postings. I'm just not comfortable with that.

So let this be within my closest friends, family members and loved ones. I've deleted the link from my friendster. I need to share and please do give comments. hehe. Blogskin tak canggih lah jadi tak ada tagbox :p

Oh by the way, decided to go to Mind Cafe just now but unfortunately it was jam-packed with patrons. *sigh* I was really looking forward for a fun & exciting day with Eid. Hmm...but we went on having a great time ahead anyway. *wink*

For those of you who have zilch idea on what Mind Cafe has to offer, do check out its website at http://www.themindcafe.com.sg/index.php :D

~to cross the line might be the way across~

Therapeutic Literature?

2007-04-02T13:11:00.000+08:00

I've been very busy the previous week. I complained a lot of being tired (kesian orang yang asik kena dengar tu..hehe) but somehow, I enjoyed the busy-ness. hehe. I just love to keep myself busy lepas tu bila dah penat, complain. hehe. Saje tu nak attention. Menyampah pulak :p

What had kept me busy?

1. An assigment that is soon to due
2. A presentation for the weekend which has not been fully-prepared yet
3. Volunteering for StarKidz program at Telok Kurau Pri Sch
4. Tutoring
5. Classes to attend over the weekend (plus tutoring..macam nak pengsan!)
6. Taking care of baby Darwish
7. Window shopping
8. Late dinners with you-know-who
9. Finishing up reading The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls (nowadays, it takes me weeks to complete a book :I )
10. Freelance caseworks that I have to bring over to this new week. hehe.

But the weekends were the worst.

Sat: attend class from 9pm - 3pm; tutoring form 4pm - 6pm; presentation discussion from 7pm to 9pm.

Sun: tutoring from 9am- 1030am; attend class from 12pm - 6:30pm; tutoring from 8pm to 10pm.

And luckily today I've no tutoring but still have to go for my counselling session in the evening. Kat Bukit Batok pulak tu. hehe. BUT I'm still enjoying it :p cuma penat lah...there I go whining again.

My counselling course is getting tougher. I am quite pressurized with the fact that most of my coursemates have had some background in counselling (at least they are social work-trained). Some are inexperience and I try to find comfort in that. At least ada yang senasib. hehe. But all of us are working very hard and determined to go through this whole thing.

What I am taking now is a post-graduate diploma in Counselling. If I'm eligible, I will be offered a place to continue my Masters studies for another year. But I'm not sure. Even if I'm eligible for it, I was thinking that it would be essential if I have a certain amount of experience in this field to compliment my Masters studies and enable me to apply the skills in my work.

Last weekend, I have to go through intensive learning on Theories in Counselling. And when it comes to theories, some of you out there might know how memenatkan otak it is. I felt my otak jamming. I can't absorb everything; it was just too much. Luckily, the theories were presented by groups (including mine), so the transition from one group to another with different people presenting somehow kept me awake. It wasn't static with only the same lecturer talking. Nasib baik. Or else, I'm afraid I might be bored to death. Literally. hehe.

But then again, group presentations have it setbacks too. Especially with people who are so unanimated that you are wondering whether they realized that there were a whole bunch of people yawning all the way through his/her reading/mumbling in front of him/her. Or with the over-animated ones that you hoped that it might as well have been a clown engaged to entertain in birthday parties. hehe. At least dapat tengak clown. Tak pernah nampak clown in real life. :P

Ok, I think I'm being over-exaggerating here. It wasn't that bad, actually. Most of them were very good. I really admire people who can talk confidently in public. Mine was quite disappointing because I think I sounded very nervous. There wasn't much eye-contact with the audience. Luckily my partner saved the day when she cracked some jokes which interestingly didn't come out corny and fake. It was so natural and I love it. Thanks, Ariel!

For you out there who wants to know what counselling & therapy is all about, I recommend you to watch a movie starring Matt Damon & Robin Williams. It was a terrific movie which I think I can watch over and over again. I even went to the extent of printing out the transcript so I can memorize the dialogues. hehe. It's titled "Good Will Hunting". It won the Academy Awards and it was Matt Damon's and Ben Affleck's first attempt at movie script-writing. They started writing it when they were in Harvard. I didn't know they were from Harvard! Oh by the way, I kinda find Matt Damon cute..*drool*

~to cross the line might be the way across~

A small hop before a giant leap

2007-03-26T13:43:00.000+08:00

Alhamdulillah, we manage to pull through :) I was so nervous and even his coolness can't seem to stop the twist in my stomach that had been bugging me all day long :p

My mom was the most excited person looking forward for this visit. She made sure that the food is enough (both light and heavy dishes, mind you.) and even turned panicky when she realized that she had forgotten the dessert (sampai nak suruh beli fruits at the last minute!).

Thanks a lot, mak! You've been my pillar of strength throughout the whole ordeal. You encourage us a lot and brush away worry like dusts in the air. You assure us that bapak will be ok ("takkan bapak nak halau dia dari rumah kalau dia datang kan..?" was the magic phrase :) )

My dad was VERY quiet about this visit. He did not talk to me about it. He did not talk to me AT ALL these past few days. hehe. My father is like that. We assume he's ok with things when he was quiet but jangan disangka air tenang tiada buaya. He can just burst and spit out his disapproval on the same thing that we thought he was ok with. He's so unpredictable.

That was why I am very glad that the visit turned out well. True enough, he didn't chase Eid out of the house. hehe. But what makes me the happiest is that, both of them engaged quite well in conversations :)

I even got help from my brothers to save the day. hehe. I need them to play some roles to lighten things up so that Eid won't be stucked to my father all the time. hehe. And they played their roles well! ;) They asked questions and voice out opinions on the topic that Eid and my father was talking about. But Farhan, the naughty one was expectedly not without his funny antics. Yazid was more serious, though walaupun sempat juga menyakat Eid with statements and questions which kind of left him dumbfounded. hehe. Thanks bros!

Eid didn't expect it to turn out as it was - some kind of family gathering. He thought it'll be a one-to-one confrontation with my father ;) He prepared himself mentally for that. He was very grateful to my family members for the unexpected warm welcome.

When the time comes for the 'real stuff', I was called to sit with my parents and Eid in the living room area. The verdict. The magical word was : "pakcik restu...." hehe. The rest of the sentence was blurred by the overwhelming sense of relief in me that it didn't even matter even when my father stressed his firm disapproval of us going for a 'date'. hehe.

Alhamdulillah. Not a single moment when he mentioned anything about our education gap.

Thanks Allah for the strength.

Thanks Bapak for your restu.

Thanks Mak for your support.

Thanks Bros for your role.

Thanks Sis for just being there.

Thanks Friends for your du'as.

:D

~to cross the line might be the way across~

Kufu-Kufu...

2007-03-20T00:27:00.000+08:00

What I'm about to share is very personal but I just have to let it off my chest.

I've known a guy since I was fifteen. He was not much of a GUY then. Just a boy that I chat with and talked over the phone. I wasn't sure whether it's puppy (or monkey?) love, but I felt that we clicked. I remembered the feeling being so real that I didn't even bother to push it. I let it flow naturally. I shall refer to him as 'Eid' for the rest of the entry.

The friendship flourished to a relationship which still goes on strong 8 yrs later.

Now, 8 yrs is a very long time. We've been through ups and downs and we've known each other so well that we can finish each other's sentences. Not that I'm bragging about it because it is not somehing to be proud of if you consider the tears & hardship that tags along with it. There's a price to pay. But, it has definitely made us stronger.

I don't intend to write about the journey of my relationship but rather of it's destination.

Being young, we started off very discretely and secretly, not wanting our parents to find out about it, especially mine. Kena pelangkung kang! Afterall, we were still schooling then.

What worries me is that, a span of college, university and working years later, we have still not face up to my parents and 'officially' declare our relationship. Some of you might say, "hey, what's the big deal??". Yeah well, IT IS A BIG DEAL for me.

My problem is regarding 'kekufuan'.

I'm a degree-holder and pursuing my postgrad studies. He's working in the technical line and is pursuing his NITEC certification. Not even a Higher Nitec. So that gives you all the idea of our education gap.

Personally, I don't give a damn. (pardon my language.)

There are reasons for me to stay fillial with Eid after all these years. We survived through 4 years of long distance relationship as I was overseas to further my studies most of those period of time. We survived through my irregular hours of working as an executive in the mosque. We survived through my moment of folly of getting involved with an older man. (He actually forgave me. I can't even forgive myself...)

So, is kekufuan still an issue here?

Yes, seems that it is. At least to my father.

It is a very big blow for me when my father once told me that a relationship that lacks 'kekufuan' may result in marriage breakup due to differences between husband & wife. I want to say to him then: "But Eid will be different! I'm sure of it." but refrain from doing so. The fact is that, I'm not exactly sure of that.

Eid is supposed to meet my parents this Sunday. We discussed about this thoroughly and decided we have to give it a shot. Whatever the reaction will be like from my father, we have to face it. We can't always be running away.

Pray for us.

~to cross the line might be the way across~

-untitled-

2007-03-19T01:24:00.000+08:00

Now, my post title reminds me of Natasha Beddingfield's song titled, 'Untitled'. hehe.

Not much to share today. Lots of assignments to do. Pending caseworks. Financial worries. haiz...

And I've been thinking a lot about my future lately. Will I regret my decision to switch to other line of profession? Will I perform well in the field?

Nah...let's not get into that for this entry. I want to write something 'light'.

Yeah...I want to write ABOUT 'Light'. hehe.

I'm referring to one of the characters in the movie "Death Note" (see picture attached). Initially, this movie didn't appeal to me at all as I'm no big fan of Japanese movies. I had enough of Japanese-can't-understand-the-plot-at-all 'horror' flick and I thought "Death Note" was no exception.

I only agree to watch it when my bro decided to buy the DVD after recommendations from friends. They claimed that it wasn't exactly a horror movie but rather has a Kindachi-style mystery-solving flavour to it.

THAT caught my attention. I just LOVE Kindachi. And I'm a huge fan of MYSTERIES & SUSPENSE; movies, novels and all.

As usual, I'm not going to give a movie review, but rather to share my deep interest in the abovementioned genre of media & literature. I like it when I can feel the thrill of adrenaline rush as the mysteries get deeper and more intense and also how our mind starts to squeeze the brain until it oozes juices of ideas on what's next in the plot. hehe. ok ok. I know. I'm exaggerating.

Oh yeah, I'm writing this entry using a new laptop. It's new because my sister is the new owner. hehe. Meaning it's a second-hand buy, but I can definitely say it's a good deal :) $1030 for a Fujitsu Lifebook. Only 2 yrs old with another year of waranty validity :) So, it's my sis's but biasalah, ngecek-ngecek sikit. hehe.

*Wondering whether there's anyone reading this blog. Am I in a ghost town or what??!*

~to cross the line might be the way across~

Marriage & Motherhood

2007-03-13T14:30:00.000+08:00

How time flies. And with great speed too ;) Went out with my great girlfriends yesterday, Zuraidah & Eryanty both a Mom and a Mom-to-be respectively :) So guess what? The topic-of-the-day was not surprisingly on 'motherhood'! hehe

All-Girls' Day Out...I really enjoyed it. Zuraidah is doing great and is still gushing over her feelings of completeness as a woman. Eryanty, though 6-mths pregnant, does not even look past 20 years old, much less married and soon-to-be mother hehe;) But I'm very happy for her. After what she's been through, this is the greatest gift that Allah has granted her. Ya Allah, kuatkanlah semangat sahabatku, dan permudahkanlah segala urusan baginya, Ameen... :)

Reaching 23 yrs of age, I do have my fair share of 'mother's instinct'. (yeah? hehe) Kebetulan pula, my mom is babysitting my cousin. Having to see him grow and develop in front of me never fails to amaze (and amuse? hehe) me ;) He's sooo adorable. I used to babysit cousins before, but this time it's quite different. Maybe, it's my age. Or am I getting older? hehe :p

Baby Darwish is getting naughtier every single day but nevertheless, I enjoyed it very much. When Zuraidah shared with us her daughter's karenah stories, I shared Darwish's hehe. Macamlah anak sendiri :p It invites mixed reaction from Eryanty, though, as she is expecting a baby boy. I think I scared her with little Darwish's Naughty Adventure. hehe. I love him so much.

Sometimes, I do wonder what life is all about. I'm 23, have been through school days, college hassles, university life...but I just can't get enough of everything. Makin lama makin rasa banyak lagi yang perlu dikejar dan dikerjakan ;) A year of working experience teaches me A LOT. About people. About life. About Myself. I'm pursuing my post-grad studies. What's next? Master's? Doctorate? Wow. The list just goes on and on.

Or maybe I'll just get married. Have babies like Syaza & Darwish. Stay at home, make breakfast, lunch & dinner. hehe :) Live a tai-tai life. Yeah right. I can't even stay at home for a full single day now. So used to be out most of the time. Can't imagine myself as a housemaker :) But who knows?

Life is so full of uncertainties. Macam-macam boleh berlaku. Banyak dugaan yang mesti ditempuh. But how do we prepare for what's to come? Mentally, emotionally and physically? Itu belum termasuk financially. Apapun, yang penting objektif kehidupan kita mesti jelas. Kalau ada pasangan, we share our expectations. Discuss about it. Have an open communication.

True, life is not a guaranteed smooth journey, but do prepare yourself with a well-maintained & full-fuelled car. And don't forget to stop for rests along the way... :) Haiz..my lame philosophy, but who cares?! hehe As long as I like it.

Ok, tadi dah bercakap pasal orang yang dah ada anak dan sedang menunggu anak, now I'm featuring a picture of a couple waiting anxiously to be married. May Allah bless you.

~ to cross the line might be the way across~

Personal Issues...

2007-03-10T02:30:00.000+08:00

I went to class today. Robert's class on Personal Issues in Counselling. I love this class. Why?

no notes-taking
basically talking & sharing & listening & giving opinions
discussing issues pertaining human behaviors

I have personal issues that I never find the opportunity to share. As I grew older, I realize that we can have lots of friends around us but not everyone can lend listening ears. Not anyone can relate to what bothers us a lot.

Do you ever feel that life is so unfair?

Do you ever feel unappreciated?

Do you ever feel unimportant?

I do.

And it bothers me a lot.

What does this tell about myself?

Sensitive? Maybe.

Too hard on myself? Maybe.

Curious? Definitely.

~to cross the line might be the way across~

Creativity is a priceless gift...

2007-03-09T02:43:00.000+08:00

Haiz...I'm beginning to feel bored with my blog layout hehe. I would really love to have the ones with all the flowery, girly & butterflies-y designs haha:P Tengok orang lain punya semua interesting and mine is so dull. You might wonder why I blabber but yeah, it just got me thinking...

...About the gift from Allah. The gift of creativity. Nature or nurture? Even creative people can't come up with the answer or to 'create' one at least :)

I always admire people who can come up with great designs, brilliant ideas and the courage to create and initiate something out of the box. The term 'out of the box' is often associated with being creative but just how do we even 'open the lid' to get 'out of the box'? ;)

It frustrates me because sometimes I think that being not creative equals to being boring. Duh. Talking about the need to impress.

But anyway, I think I would just have to appreciate creative works at the moment.

~to cross the line might be the way across~

A blog..finally...

2007-03-07T01:15:00.000+08:00

This is my first blog entry. Hehe. It's like...Duh! I don't know why I would want to have a blog. I don't even update my Friendster often :p My sis ejek I..and I feel like one of the characters in Nenek Super Canggih; being IT illiterate and all. hehe.

Anyway, guess I just have to write something. My entry will be a rojak of both Malay & English; so people, please bear with me. But one thing for sure, I'm going to make sure that I will not use any form of 'shortforms' although it's going to be hard. Gosh...I was just tempted to type in the phrase 'gonna be hard' :D

What triggers my interest in setting up a personal blog is the boiling desire to speak my mind. You see, I'm a counselor-in-training and I found that so far my classes has always been about speaking for myself, giving myself the chance to express my needs, being able to say out loud what I'm feeling at a particular moment and so on and so forth.

I admit it is a good exercise and a whole new and exciting experience for me. We are always encouraged to express our feelings verbally or in writing. Being in this course also teaches me how to face my personal issues, my inner strengths and weaknesses and above all, understanding myself.

Humans are highly-dynamic beings and unique as what they are. I love to observe people and am very curious about how/why people do/don't do certain things. You might say, why bother? But well, I'm just intrigued by this curiosity of mine.

That's exactly why I am in love with the current movie showing (picture above), The Pursuit of Happyness. It is about the life of a single father who gains custody over his son and found himself homeless and struggling to pursue his dream as a stockbroker.

I'm not going to be a movie critic here, but I do recommend this movie to all of you. Please watch it. hehe. It'll inspire you.

As for now, I got to go. ZzzzzZZzZZ....